Thoughts On a 3-Year Gap

Right before I had Audrey, my mother-in-law kept telling me that Cora would look so old to me after the baby arrived. "She'll look like she's ten!" she kept repeating.

Well . . . that didn't happen. Three year-old Cora still looked like a three-year-old to me. (Both B and I thought she felt incredibly HEAVY after lifting an 8 pound baby for a few days, however.)

Meeting for the first time. Obviously Audrey is LOVING it.

I thought about why my MIL's prediction didn't pan out for us and realized that her first 3 kids were all 2 years apart or slightly less.

Yep, she has the stair-step. Most of my friends have the 2-year stair-step. The one I didn't think I wanted but then envied when it took us longer than we thought it would to conceive another child. After observing Cora and other friends' children, I came to the conclusion that somewhere between 2.25 years and 2.75, our little ones transform from "baby" to "kid." So Cora was already transformed and didn't need a new baby to push her that way.

While I think any age gap between siblings has its blessings and challenges, I think the 3-year one has had some definite benefits for us.

1. Only one kid in diapers. Less dollars on disposables, less laundry loads of cloth diapers.
2. The big kid can dress herself. This is just really nice.
3. She can fetch me things from other rooms and follow multi-step directions
4. Cora can play unsupervised around baby. I'll admit this took a little work since in the early days she wanted to push Audrey in the swing or get up in her face, but now I can easily step out of the room and take a shower or clean something.
5. We're not having dinnertime picky-eating battles or bedtime battles any more. Last summer was rife with these, and now we have different battles, but the overall routine of the day seems to go pretty smoothly (although my husband may disagree a bit since he's been the one home with them while I'm at work!)
6. On a personal level, it was good for me to not be nursing or pregnant for a stretch. I was able to focus on my physical fitness (and mental health) and knock out some goals (like running a 5K in 26 minutes!)
7. And the best benefit so far: Cora will clean up spit-up!! Audrey has a pretty classic case of infant reflux, so sometimes she just spits up while sitting in her swing or whatever. Cora is very caring and will holler, "She spit up!" so I tell her to get a rag (which we keep everywhere now!) and clean her up. And she does!! Commence lots of lavish praise for my big helper.

I'll obviously take whatever gaps God gives me when it comes to children (I have miscarried before and know the pain that comes from planning one thing and reality being completely different), and I don't think there is a right or wrong number of years, but so far, I am liking this 3-year gap.

I unintentionally wrote a list of 7, so we'll call it 7 Quick Takes for this week! Linking up with Kelly at This Ain't the Lyceum

the Birth of Audrey Francine

When people ask me how long my labor was with Cora, it's an easy answer. 21 hours. Start to finish. Second babies are supposed to come quicker, right? Right.

Except, not right. Now I'm not sure whether to say I was in labor for 7 hours or 13 days. THIRTEEN DAYS. Let that one sink in. I know this is supposed to be 'the birth story,' but I feel we need to separate this into two parts: the twelve days before, and then the actual birth. If you don't want to hear about all the crap leading up to it (which was a huge emotional roller coaster) and just want the nitty-gritty of my time at the hospital, then click this for Part 2.

Part 1

April 2, 2015, the day before my due date. Also, Holy Thursday. I woke up with contractions. Pretty mild, and I never really know if they're BH contractions or not, but they were timeable to about 10 minutes apart and 30 seconds or less in length. I decided to go into work and timed them with an app on my phone.

They went on all day, time-able the entire time, but never picking up strength or duration. We had set everything in place and my MIL was on her way. I came home from working the whole day and we took a walk to see if it would help. We skipped Holy Thursday services and eventually I went to bed. And then fell asleep. Now I don't know a ton about birth, but if you can sleep through contractions, then it's not go-to-the-hospital time.

I woke up the next morning sorta nauseous and having the same type of contractions. I decided not to go to work, hoping that something might start happening. Around 9:30am, it all just stopped. Since my MIL was there and Cora's daycare was closed for Good Friday anyway, we sent MIL off with her while B and I went to walk around the grocery store to see if we could get something to start.

Nada. I was mad I wasted a day of PTO and still kinda wish I had just gone in late. Oh, hindsight.

Walking around the neighborhood with my "Easter egg" belly on my due date.

Saturday morning, I woke up and went to Zumba class. I felt amazing. Everyone was giving me all kinds of old wives' tales. If you're feeling great, then birth is nigh. And also if you're too tired to do anything else but give birth, then it is nigh. Well, it's all hogwash.

Zumba didn't work.

Hot sauce also didn't work.

For the following week and a half, I had contractions daily. Weak ones, strong ones, time-able, not so time-able, whatever. I deleted the app on my phone and basically ignored them unless I couldn't. I went to Zumba on the Tuesday after my due date (4 days late), and the baby was kicking me so hard that I had to stop a few times. (Pretty sure she was also doing Zumba.) But then, when it was time to sleep that night, I slept.

I had a Non-Stress test with a nurse practitioner on the following Friday, at 41 weeks. Everything was fine, but I was still holding around 1cm. Cora had her spring show at daycare that night, which I had hoped to make one way or another. I did, and it was adorable.

She's in the purple stripes

Right after Cora's class performed, B immediately left for his Reserves weekend in Indianapolis. He spent his weekend in a secured room, no phones allowed, so he walked outside once an hour to check for any news. Nothin'. My parents had come into town as planned on their way to Chicago, and Mom and I hung out, shopped, and made some freezer meals.

I had been hoping to hold out until exactly 42 weeks for induction, but we had a snag.

The blasted military. Still haunting us even years after my husband left Active Duty. As a Reservist, life usually goes as planned, one weekend a month and two weeks a year penciled in on the calendar and generally unchanged. Well, this one was even on the books, too. Two Reserve weekends in April, the second one being a plane ride away. A weekend for a training that he needed to do for his two-weeker the following month. We hadn't worried about it because second babies come earlier, right? Except, not right. And because our baby was holding out on actually being born, it was a weekend that would essentially choose her birth date.

I hated the idea of induction. Truly, truly hated it. I didn't get much sympathy, since both the birthing women and the doctors in this town seem to love the idea. My doctor generally induces at 41 weeks, but she said she'd let me go to 42 if I wanted. But at 42 weeks B wouldn't be there. So, minus 2 days, and that's what we had. The day before he left, April 15. I kept praying baby would decide to come before that, but she was a stubborn one.

Part 2

April 15, 2015. 41 weeks, 5 days. We woke up bright and early to arrive at the hospital at 6am like we were instructed. B's aunt came over to take care of Cora who was still passed out asleep in bed.

We walked into the hospital and checked in at the desk. It almost felt like I was going in to make a deposit at the bank, not birth a child. My nurse was great, and we had the IV stuff in by 7am. It was a pitocin-only induction, thankfully. I decided to not immediately get the epidural, just to see what my tolerance was.

Getting ready to get this show on the road!

My neighbor is a night nurse at a different hospital but has a good relationship with where I was at, so she came by after her shift was over. She was probably more excited than the two of us about the impending birth of our baby, and I'll admit her joyful attitude was annoying me. I'll blame the pitocin. And the fact that I'd been hoping every day for the past two weeks was baby day. She got mad at B because he wasn't helping me enough (poor guy literally did not know how to help--we never took a class on natural birth or anything). She got me set up on a ball to see if it would help. Turns out I hated it. I mostly just paced around with the IV pole and went to the bathroom a lot. We also discussed our name list a bit further and nixed a few more off (we walked in with 11 combinations of acceptable names!). After a bit, I realized that I was scared of every contraction and totally not trusting my own body. I mean, those pitocin contractions HURT. BAD.

I'm not really sure why I was scared. Yes, it was painful, but I think I was just psyching myself out. Also feeling like my crotch was about to split in two, and I just plain didn't like that. I had some tearing with Cora's birth that I think I never fully healed from, so that was just adding an extra layer on top of everything.

So around 11am, I asked for the epidural. I was pretty sure it would come to that anyway, so I didn't feel defeated. The nurse checked me around noon when the epidural went in and I was around 5cm.

Remembering my epidural from my first birth, I started settling in for a longer haul. I messed around on my phone and turned on the tv while propped up on one side. It hadn't completely taken on the other side after a half hour, so they propped me up on the other side. About 10 minutes after that, I felt something wet. I told B to call the nurse because I wasn't sure if my water had broken or not.

Sure enough, it had. Nurse checked me again and said I would be pushing soon. I was at 9.5cm! The epidural totally relaxed my body to just open up. Crazy.

They weren't going to call my doctor for my delivery because she had delivered a baby in the middle of the night, and it's pretty common to just have another doctor from my practice step in if they're on call. However, the timing was perfect and my doctor had shown up to do a postpartum check on another mom. She came in to help me get started on pushing and see where I was at.

I pushed for about an hour, with most of that time being just me and B and the nurse. This was so different than my previous experience when it felt like there were 20 people in the room for the entire duration. After making some good progress for an hour, my doc came back in and within a few more pushes, baby was out!!

She didn't cry immediately, and both B and I looked at each other thinking something might be wrong. But no one was freaking out and the baby-nurse sucked the goop out and there was a cry. A cry that we could easily tune out because it was so much quieter and lower in frequency than our first baby's. And luckily for us, it has stayed that way! (We have even watched some videos of Cora as a baby to compare because we were starting to think we were delusional.)

I could tell right away that she was shorter and heavier than Cora, and I was correct. It took a little bit of time to name her, but I basically gave her the first name of Audrey, and then I asked B what her middle name was. He picked Francine, and I thought it was perfect.

And our little Audrey Francine is the most perfect addition to our family.

5 Favorites: Free Printables

I'll be back with the birth story for Miss Audrey later, but the tl;dr version is: 41+5, induction, epidural, standard delivery. Overall, it was good, and we're doing good.

I yanked this one out of my posts drafts that I hadn't gotten around to. A themed 5 Favorites. I do love me some free printables.

1.

Recipe card

And by 'card,' I mean an entire sheet of paper that goes in a sheet protector in my recipe binder. I love that these are editable pdf's so you can copy/paste and don't even have to wade through rushed handwriting.

This one from DomestiFluff is what I used 5 years ago for my sister's bridal shower cookbook.

I think this one here can actually hold more text on it for those longer recipes.

2.

Notes for the babysitter

You can find all sorts of these all over Pinterest, but I found 3 faves.

The one shown is from here. Another nice one is over here. And lastly, this one. Oh wait, there's also this adorable one that is specifically for infants. So. Many. Options.

3.

Yearly kid's birthday interview

Also an editable pdf, which I started this year at age 3. I'm sure my daughter's answers changed the next day, but I tucked what I got into her baby book anyway.

There's also a blue/green version, and both can be found right here.

4.

Anything from Kendra at CatholicAllYear

Especially these lovelies:

I highly recommend reading the blog post that goes along with the Solemnities one, as well as her 10 Baby Steps to Living the Liturgical Year post. Both are full of win.

For all of Kendra's printables, check out her Pinterest board

5.

Handwriting practice sheets

Full confession: if it weren't for Cora's daycare, I would have never known about this one. But to watch your 3-year-old write her name? Jaw-droppingly awesome.

This was all her, no help.

Fully customizable and free at handwritingpractice.net


For some other awesome free printables that may or may not fit your life, check out freeprintablesonline.com and Thirty Handmade Days and Real Life at Home

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Linking this one up with Call Her Happy's 5 Faves, hosted this week at Efficient Momma

Cora's 3rd Birthday

As of 2 weeks ago, I am the proud momma of a 3-year-old!

Obligatory yearly chair-with-elephant photo

Semi-obligatory comparison photo collage
(I would also like to point out that the chair was never in the same place for each of these)

Of course we had a party. It was Minnie-Mouse themed.

Dollar Tree helium balloons for life

Not enough characters to do alliteration like last year, but I just made it work

Pensive birthday girl

A bow-shaped cake (and a mom/baker who needs to invest in a real cakeboard)

She managed to blow out exactly ZERO candles and Mom and Dad had to step in to help

We also did a 'pin the ring on Minnie' game that I found at Party City. We only had a few kids there (we use her birthday as an excuse to have wine and invite B's aunts and uncles over/one of her besties was sick), and I didn't get any pictures of the kids playing it. But she got a princess dress-up kit, and that was a hit.

See? Even her grandma was excited

I decided that 3 years old was a great time to start yearly interviews, and I ended up asking her these questions about once a day for a few days because she basically answered with whatever was in front of her face the first time around. 

Height: 38 ¾" (85th percentile)

Weight: 36 lbs. (90th percentile)

Nicknames: Honeybunch
What is your favorite color? Purple (based on what she wears, it's pink, but she said purple)
What is your favorite animal? butterfly
What is your favorite book? the Jasmine one
What is your favorite TV show/movie? Minnie
What is your favorite song? Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
What is your favorite food? cottage cheese
What is your favorite drink? milk
What is your favorite breakfast food? oatmeal
What is your favorite snack? graham crackers
What is your favorite outfit? heart dress (it's really just a tunic)
What is your favorite game? the Hello Kitty one (she just got it for her birthday)
Who is your best friend? changes between Londyn and Izzy (both daycare friends)
What is your favorite thing to do? "ummmm... I don't know"
What is your favorite thing to do outside? swing
What is your favorite holiday? Christmas (she's still not quite sure what a holiday is)
What do you like to take to bed with you at night? soft kitty
Where is your favorite place to go? daycare, Grandma's house
What do you want to be when you grow up? a doctor
What did you do on your birthday? had a party, blew the candles on the cake
What is your favorite prayer? Thankful Heart (from VeggieTales, but her daycare modified it into a grace before meals)

At her daycare a few weeks back, they had asked all the kids in her class what they want to be when they grow up. Then they taped it on their locker. Her answer has changed since then, thankfully . . .

Aaand one more picture of the birthday girl, for posterity's sake:

Saying "cheese" while eating 'toasty cheese'

My Life Exhausts Me, But At Least My Daughter Is A Genius (7QT)

--- 1 ---

Well, I think the title of this post says it all. I have way too much going on right now. I'm now 19 weeks pregnant, I'm still in the learning curve of my new job, my husband is a grad student who doesn't get home until after 6:30 four nights a week (so I have to get dinner cooking as soon as I get home), I'm dealing with a sometimes-ornery toddler, and I'm attempting to stay fit and healthy. Oh, I'm also a student taking classes 3 mornings a week to get my real estate license (required for my job), so I'm reading and studying (read: falling asleep in my textbook) every night. To top it all off, I ended up having a medical issue this Monday (unrelated to pregnancy and rather minor) that left me in a good bit of pain. I'm mostly recovered but still have a big bandage on my back.

At least I voted on Tuesday.

--- 2 ---

So, yeah, it's exhausting, but I'm enjoying my new job! It's a lot of different stuff every day, and I've gotten the chance to design two ads already. My portfolio is happy, and I'm learning lots of new stuff.

--- 3 ---

Cora is doing great at daycare. After about a month, they decided to move her up to the 3-year-old class, even though she doesn't turn 3 until late January. I was a bit skeptical, but it seems to be a good fit for her! Not to get too much into mommy wars territory here, but if we had waited until "3 and ready" to potty-train, this couldn't have happened. (She actually started at daycare in the 2.5-and-potty-trained class, instead of the 2.5-and-not class.) Also, it's $20 cheaper a month for us now! Win win.

She can spell her name aloud and count to 25 on a good day. She knows some numbers in Spanish (thanks, daycare!) and a handful of sign language. (Yeah, I'm bragging, but I'm also writing it somewhere so I can remember for later.)

--- 4 ---

Speaking of my little genius, here is a video of her putting together a 24-piece puzzle with no help last week. (I sped up a good chunk of it.)

--- 5 ---

Belly picture? You got it.

This was at 18 weeks even.

--- 6 ---

It snowed on Halloween here, just for the exact time we went trick-or-treating. We bundled up and hit about 7 houses. But I made sure Cora got to the one that gives out full-size candy bars! She enjoyed being Minnie Mouse.

--- 7 ---

And she is now prepared for winter, thanks to the snowsuit I just got her. (Burlington for the win.) She calls it the "Minnie Mouse coat" for obvious reason.

I'm thinking I might have to cave and buy a maternity coat this time around. Also, we can't put Cora in the car seat in that coat. What a pain in the butt. Can you tell I'm already dreading winter??

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Then Vs. Now

So many things that we're doing again this year with what seems like a completely different kid. And with living in a house vs. an apartment, we feel like a different family a bit, too.

Here I present some fun differences.

Context:
May 2013: Cora was 15 months old, I was 28, and B turned 30.

May 2014: Cora is 27 months old, I am 29, and today is B's 31st birthday.

Swim lessons then: I did a parent & child swim class at the Y that went from January to late February. Cora couldn't walk, used a swim diaper, and it was COLD! Even with the indoor heated pool, it was freezing the second we stepped out of it. And we had to suit up in all the winter accouterments just to go and come back.  She liked swimming, though.

Impossible to get a pic during swim lessons, so here is a boat pic from last year

Swim lessons now: Learned from my mistake and waited until the April session to do swim. Still a bit cold, but no boots or swim diaper required. She still loves it! And I love it more because it's just easier this time around. Also, the instructor says she's ready for puddle jumpers, so we tried them on her in the water and it went pretty well!

The zoo then:
Going to the zoo last year was more for me than it was for her. She enjoyed it, but she only spoke a handful of words and didn't seem to care about half of it.

The zoo now:
A wagon instead of a stroller. A kid who sees a zebra and hollers, "Zebra!" Still chows down on some cereal while we stroll along. So fun.

That's a bat-eared fox.

Screen-free week then: Oh, gah. Last year's attempt at screen-free week goes down in the books as one of the worst weeks of my life. Not because of the screen thing, but because of the burnt hands thing. Not my finest hour. Haven't baked bread since, by the way.

Screen-free week now: It's this week, and we're truckin' along. Doing the same thing as last year where I'm screen-free when Cora is awake, and then I picked one day to be totally screen-free. (Except for 'work,' and I do make money online so I gave myself 45 minutes for that one night.) One big difference this year is that Cora asks for "Bob" (the tomato) or "Signing Time," and I'm not letting her have it. Lots of redirection, lots of coloring.

Cora's hair then:

Not much of it, but quite chic

Cora's hair now:

Yay for hair! I refuse to have it cut just yet, so we pull it back most of the time.

So cute, even when stuffing her face full of black jelly beans (ew).

B's birthday then:
I spent the morning at the burn center downtown for Cora to get her final check-up and get the wraps off her hands.

We had a family gathering to celebrate over at his grandmother's house. I made one of his favorite meals and triple-layer chocolate cake from scratch.

B's birthday now:
I spent the afternoon at the dentist getting a cavity filled.

B didn't want to do anything special today, so I made whatever dinner was already on the menu plan, and Cora and I made brownies from a box mix earlier in the day. (Oven safety being first priority, of course.) B and I have a date night to a baseball game planned for Monday, so we're counting that as celebration as well.

My 2 Year Old

Obligatory mom-blogger post. Sorrynotsorry!

Cora turned the big 0-2 on Sunday. We had a party for her in which she was the youngest attendee by over 20 years. (Yeah, still working on making friends over here.)

But let's see what she's up to in the milestone/development world.

Her stats from her doctor visit: 28lbs, 10oz (75th percentile), and 35¾" in height (90th percentile)

So she's tall and has some stock to her. But she actually looks pretty lean, but with that cute belly. Her eyes are still blue, and her hair is a light brown (I guess some people might say it's blonde).

Vocab: Cora has at least 100 words and adds one or two more daily (including "Zumba" and "blah blah blah"--love that copycat phase!). She didn't say her first word until 15 or 16 months, so we're happy. (I was never actually concerned about her talking.) She has a few phrases, and she knows all of her body parts--including nipple and bum since she pointed at those, too. She can count to 3 and knows a handful of letters and numbers by sight. She wasn't interested in animal noises until wayyyy after most kids do that, but again, I was never concerned. Thanks to her play-a-sound animal book, if you ask her what a rabbit says she will say "boing boing." She has also started having some good manners. Out of the blue, she said "bless you" after I sneezed many months ago and still does it most of the time. She uses "please" and "thank you" pretty well, but we still have to prompt her a lot. She likes to say "bye bye" to things, which I definitely use to my advantage during transition times.

Cora loves to cook with Mama

Gross Motor Skills: Cora didn't start walking until almost 15 months, but took off from there. She can walk down the steps in our house while holding the handrail. She really really wants to jump, but she can't yet. But she likes to stomp and spin and circles. One of Cora's favorite things to do is 'run' around our living room and let her voice wobble with her steps at the same time. (It's seriously adorable.) We did a gymnastics class last summer, and since then she has been able to do a forward roll without help. She also loves rough play and being tickled on her belly.

Quirks: She loves ice in her water bottle and will whine for it. (This is how I taught her "please," actually.) She has started getting attached to certain stuffed animals, namely a bunny that she just got at her party 5 days ago. She loves wearing her aprons (she pronounces it "ah-men") and will bring me mine as well and want me to wear it. Cora has finally started letting me do stuff with her hair--which I refuse to cut--but she often still takes it all out after a bit. Cora loves books and still brings me a ton to read to her every day. Her favorite cartoon is "Bob," which means VeggieTales and often when I turn on the TV she gets mad if it isn't Bob. She also seems to like Elmo and knows Minnie Mouse only because she has pajamas with her on it.

Wins: Cora thrives on a schedule. The only thing that really changes daily is when she wakes up in the morning. I still don't let her start the day before 6:30, and now when she wakes up between 6:30 and 7, I bring her into my bed and let her do whatever while I lay down for a bit more. Thanks to her schedule, she is kinda potty-trained, but so am I, in a way. She goes on the potty at certain times of day and I just have to get her to sit there a bit. She still doesn't initiate when she needs to go and will hold it until naptime or bedtime (when she goes in a diaper), so we'll be working on that soon. I'm down to washing diapers about once a week (or whenever it stinks!).

Also, as long as she gets a nap or a good night's sleep, she is easy to take to church! She is a busy-bee during it, but she uses her "whisper voice" when we ask her to. I don't dread that hour any more and can even hear the homily most of the time. Cora also does the sign of the cross in her own fun way, often without prompting. She loves sticking her hand in the holy water on our way in and out of mass, too.

Losses: She has become an even pickier eater than she was before. She won't try new things unless it's a cookie or something mostly processed. She does drink smoothies though, and I'm able to throw some no-taste veggies in there usually. However, she has handed smoothies back to me if it doesn't meet her standards! It's sad to think that a year ago her favorite food was peas(!) but now she hasn't even touched them in months. Sigh.

Overall, Cora is a happy, healthy, well-adjusted kid. Sure there are tantrums, and we still haven't quite figured out time-outs, but overall, she is fun to be around. She isn't really shy, but sometimes out in public she's a bit slow to warm up to others. She still has a deep, infectious laugh which will totally make your day if you hear it!