03 August 2010

top 10: why i'm a horrible excuse for a southern belle

I had already planned on writing a Top 10 list for today's post, and come to find out, there's a blog-hop for that. Perfect!
Top Ten {Tuesday}

So I spent the first 22 years of my life living in Georgia, then I spent my AmeriCorps year in Jacksonville, FL, now I'm 90 minutes away from the capital of the Confederacy, and soon to be in a part of Florida that, for all intents and purposes, should probably be considered part of Alabama.

But after all of those 26 years spent living beneath the Mason-Dixon Line, here are the Top 10 Reasons I Fail as a True Southerner:

10.  I hate sweet tea.  Actually, I loathe any type of tea.  Also, a true Southerner (with a capital S) wouldn't acknowlege that any other types of tea exist.
9.  My hair is not nearly big enough.
8.  I have never said, "Bless ya heart, sugah".  EVER.
7.  I don't own a cast-iron skillet, and I often cook with margarine (the horror!)
6.  I'm not sure I'd even recognize a magnolia tree, so you probably won't see me settin' under one waiting on my gentleman caller.
5.  I don't 'glisten,' I really do sweat.
4. My accent sucks.  It changes often, usually to the last one I heard.  Perhaps I'll get some southern twang back in Pensacola?
3.  No me gusta grits.
2.  I always forget to address people with "Sir" and "Ma'am"

And the #1 reason I fail as a true Southerner . . .
1.  My parents aren't actually Southerners.  Mom is from central Florida, and Dad is from upstate New York.  As they say, "If the cat had kittens in the oven, ya wouldn't call 'em biscuits."


  1. hahahaha. This is too funny! I don'y glisten either and my accent sucks too!

  2. So funny! I've lived all over the darn country- Midwest, MidAtlantic, New England, down South... my "accent" and word-choice are so wonky, it's ridiculous. I told a friend yesterday that I have (I swear) used the words "wicked" and "y'all" in the same sentence. ;) (p.s. I hate sweet tea too.)

  3. I was born in the heart of the south, so even if I have forgotten how to say y'all, I always be a southern girl!
    And you're invited to Of Such is the Kingdom's first birthday blog party! We're pulling up old posts and giving away lots of prizes. Come on over!