on liking an idea

Have you ever tried something that you really hoped you would like and/or possibly be good at, but then realized that it wasn't as awesome as you had built it up in your mind?

While knocking tasks off my 101 list, I have come across a bit of this.  My Rocky Horror experience definitely qualified.  It sounded great in theory because so many people love it, but it left me just plain grossed out.  In fact, I could hardly watch the "Glee" Rocky Horror episode this past Halloween because of it.  Geocaching was also another adventure that sounded really neat in theory, but in actuality left me supremely frustrated and became the root of a large marital spat.

Unlike me, this guy probably knows what he's doing.

I sort-of crossed another item off my list last weekend by taking a sailing class from MWR on base.  The class was well-taught, and I aced the classroom part (no surprise, as I've always been good at school).  However, once they put me in my own Sunfish sailboat, all of that went out the window and I started panicking.  I somehow managed not to capsize because I remembered to switch sides of the boat when the big ol' boom (sail) was about to smack me in the head.  It wasn't soon after I got the boat in the water that I realized I was actually scared, and at that moment the water just seemed so big and I just felt so small and weak.  It also hit me that I hadn't been in a boat in YEARS (not since canoeing in Girl Scouts over 10 years ago, and it was always in a small lake).

Luckily, for these classes, they have a powerboat out there with people to help.  A teenage boy helper hopped in my boat with me, tried to calm me down, then steered me back on course because I couldn't figure it out.  Unfortunately, he took the reigns for a bit but didn't really teach me much.  Once he left my boat to help one of our capsized classmates, I figured out how to just stall my boat and sit "in irons."  I was able to turn my boat a few times after that, but never got it to steer back on course, probably because I was scared of going too fast.  Honestly, I just ended up going in a small circle and drifting wherever the wind decided I should be.  I ended up way off course again around the time we were finishing, and the power boat ended up hauling me in on a tow.

When I left that class, I was soooo frustrated with myself.  And when I get frustrated with my own inabilities, it's not pretty and often results in a larger crisis of berating myself about not being good at anything.  Sailing was something I had secretly hoped to be good at and enjoy, if anything because it would be easy to take up as a hobby while here in Pensacola.  I also figured I'd be a good fit because I like the water, but maybe in actuality I don't like being in the middle of the water?  But I'm not giving up so easily on this one.  Yes, I hit a wall (figuratively, although if there was one closer I'm sure I would've hit it literally), but maybe it's time to put my big-girl britches on and try again.  B was in the class with me (and did fine in the water), and he said he'll take me out again soon, and maybe I won't panic this time.  Well, I can only hope.